Verbal abuse là gì

Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. She's also a psychotherapist, the author of the bestselling book "13 Things Mentally Svào People Don't Do," và the host of The Verywell Mind Podcast.Bạn đang xem: Verbal abuse là gì


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What Is Emotional Abuse?

Emotional abuse is a way to lớn control another person by using emotions lớn criticize, embarrass, shame, blame, or otherwise manipulate another person. In general, a relationship is emotionally abusive when there is a consistent pattern of abusive words và bullying behaviors that wear down a person"s self-esteem and undermine theirmental health.

What"s more, mental or emotional abuse, while most common in dating & married relationships, can occur in any relationship including among muốn friends, family members, và co-workers.

Bạn đang xem: Verbal abuse là gì

Emotional abuse is one of the hardest forms of abuse lớn recognize. It can be subtle & insidious or overt & manipulative. Either way, it chips away at the victim"s self-esteem and they begin lớn doubt their perceptions & reality.

The underlying goal of emotional abuse is lớn control the victlặng by discrediting, isolating, và silencing.

In the over, the victyên ổn feels trapped. They are often too wounded to lớn endure the relationship any longer, but also too afraid lớn leave. So the cycle just repeats itself until something is done.

How Do You Know?

When examining your own relationship, rethành viên that emotional abuse is often subtle. As a result, it can be veryhard lớn detect. If you are having trouble discerning whether or not your relationship is abusive, stop and think about howthe interactions with your partner, friover, or family member make you feel.

Here aresigns that you may be in an emotionally abusive sầu relationship. Keep in mind that even if your partner only does a handful of these things, you are still in an emotionally abusive relationship.

Do not fall inlớn the trap of telling yourself "it"s not that bad" & minimizing theirbehavior. Remember: Everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and respect.

If you feel wounded, frustrated, confused, misunderstood, depressed, anxious, or worthless any time you interact, chances are high that your relationship is emotionally abusive.

Have sầu Unrealistic Expectations

Emotionally abusive sầu people display unrealistic expectations. Some examples include:

Making unreasonable demands of youExpecting you lớn put everything aside và meet their needsDemanding you spkết thúc all of your time togetherBeing dissatisfied no matter how hard you try or how much you giveCriticizing you for not completing tasks according lớn their standardsExpecting you khổng lồ mô tả their opinions (i.e., you are not permitted khổng lồ have a different opinion)Demanding that you name exact dates and times when discussingthings that upset you (và when you cannot bởi vì this,they may dismiss the sự kiện as if it never happened)Undermining, dismissing, or distorting your perceptions or your realityRefusing lớn accept your feelings by trying to define how you should feelRequiring you to lớn explain how you feel over & overAccusing you of being "too sensitive," "too emotional," or "crazy"Refusing khổng lồ acknowledge or accept your opinions or ideas as validDismissing your requests, wants, và needs as ridiculous or unmeritedSuggestingthat your perceptions are wrong or that you cannot be trusted by saying things like "you"re blowing this out of proportion" or "you exaggerate"Accusing you of being selfish, needy, or materialistic if you express your wants or needs (the expectation is that you should not have sầu any wants orneeds)Starting arguments for the sake of arguingMaking confusing and contradictory statements (sometimes called "crazy-making")Having drastic mood changes or sudden emotional outburstsNitpicking at your clothes, your hair, your work, & moreBehaving so erratically & unpredictably that you feel like you are "walking on eggshells"

​Use Emotional Blackmail

Emotionally abusive people use emotional blackmail. Some examples include:

Manipulating và controlling you by making you feel guiltyHumiliating you in public or in privateUsing your fears, values, compassion, or other hot buttons to lớn control you or the situationExaggerating your flaws or pointing them out in order to deflect attention or to lớn avoid taking responsibility for theirpoor choices or mistakesDenying that an sự kiện took place or lying about itTreating you lượt thích you are inferiorDoubting everything you say và attempting lớn prove you wrongMaking jokes at your expenseTelling you that your opinions, ideas, values, & thoughts are stupid, illogical, or "do not make sense"Talking down to lớn you or being condescendingUsing sarcasm when interacting with youActing lượt thích they arealways right, know what is best, and are smarter

Control & Isolate You

​Emotionally abusive sầu people attempt lớn isolate and control you. Some examples include:

Controlling who you see or spend time with including friends & familyAccusing you of cheating& being jealous of outside relationshipsTaking or hiding your oto keysDemanding khổng lồ know where you are at all times or using GPS lớn traông xã your every moveTreating you like a possession or propertyCriticizing or making fun ofyour friends, family, và co-workersCoercing you inkhổng lồ spending all of your time togetherAccusations of cheating or other signs of jealousy and possessivenessConstant checking or other attempts khổng lồ control the other person"s behaviorConstantly arguing or opposingCriticismGaslightingIsolating the individual from their family & friendsName-calling and verbal abuseRefusing to participate in the relationshipShaming or blamingSilent treatmentTrivializing the other person"s concernsWithholding affection và attention

It is important to lớn remember that these types of abuse may not be apparent at the outphối of a relationship. A relationship may begin with the appearance of being normal & loving, but abusers may start using tactics as the relationship progresses khổng lồ control & manipulate their partner. These behaviors may begin so slowly that you may not notice them at first.

Impact of Emotional Abuse

When emotional abuse is severe and ongoing, a victlặng may lose their entire sense of self, sometimes without a single mark or bruise. Instead, the wounds are invisible khổng lồ others, hidden in the self-doubt, worthlessness, and self-loathing the victim feels. In fact, research indicates that the consequences of emotional abuse are just as severe as those from physical abuse.

Over time, the accusations, verbal abuse, name-calling,criticisms, and gaslighting erode a victim"s sense of self so much that they can no longer see themselves realistically. Consequently, the victyên ổn may begin to lớn agree with the abuser & become internally critical.Once this happens, most victims become trapped in the abusive sầu relationship believing that they will never be good enough for anyone else.

Emotional abuse can even impact friendships because emotionally abused people often worry about how people truly see them and if they truly like them.

Eventually, victimswill pull baông xã from friendships and isolate themselves, convinced that no one likes them. What"s more, emotional abuse can cause a number of health problems including everything from depression and anxiety to stomach ulcers, heart palpitations, eating disorders, and insomnia.

Tips for Dealing With Emotional Abuse

The first step in dealing with an emotionally abusive sầu relationship is lớn recognize the abuse. If you were able khổng lồ identify any aspect of emotional abuse in your relationship, it is important lớn acknowledge that first and foremost.

By being honest about what you are experiencing, you can begin lớn take control of your life again. Here are seven more strategies for reclaiming your life that you can put into lớn practice today.

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Make Yourself a Priority

When it comes khổng lồ your mental & physical health, you need to make yourself a priority. Stop worrying about pleasing the person abusing you. Take care of your needs. Do something that will help you think positively và affirm who you are.

Establish Boundaries

Firmly tell the abusive person that they may no longer yell at you, Điện thoại tư vấn you names, insult you, be rude lớn you, và so on. Then, tell themwhat will happen if they choose to lớn engage in this behavior.

For instance, tell themthat if they hotline you names or insult you, the conversation will be over & you will leave sầu the room. The key is to lớn follow through on your boundaries.

Stop Blaming Yourself

If you have been in an emotionally abusive sầu relationship for any amount of time, you may believe sầu that there is something severely wrong with you. But you are not the problem. To abuse is khổng lồ make a choice. So stop blaming yourself for something you have no control over.

Realize You Can't Fix Them

Despite your best efforts, you will never be able to lớn change an emotionally abusive person by doing something different or by being different. An abusive sầu person makes a choice to lớn behave sầu abusively.

Remind yourself that you cannot control theiractions & that you are not lớn blame for their choices. The only thing you can fix or control is your response.

Avoid Engaging

Do not engage with an abusive person. In other words, if an abuser tries khổng lồ start an argument with you, begins insulting you, demands things from you or rages with jealousy, vày not try to make explanations, soothe theirfeelings, or make apologies for things you did not bởi.

Simply walk away from the situation if you can. Engaging with an abuser only sets you up for more abuse & heartabịt. No matter how hard you try, you will not be able to make things right in their eyes.

Build a Support Network

Although it can be tough lớn tell someone what you are going through, speaking up can help. Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or even a counselor about what you are experiencing. Take time away from the abusive person as much as possible & spend time with people who love sầu & tư vấn you.

This network ofhealthy friends và confidantes will help you feel less lonely and isolated. They also can speak truth inkhổng lồ your life & help you put things into perspective.

Work on an Exit Plan

If your partner, frikết thúc, or family thành viên has no intention of changing or working on their poor choices, you will not be able to remain in the abusive sầu relationship forever. It will eventually take a toll on you both mentally & physically.

Depending on your situation, you may need to lớn take steps lớn over the relationship. Each situation is different. So, discuss your thoughts and ideas with a trusted friover, family member, or counselor. Emotional abuse can have serious long-term effects, but it can also be a precursor khổng lồ physical abuse and violence.

Remember too, that abuse often escalates when the person being abused makes a decision lớn leave sầu. So, be sure you have a safety plan in place should the abuse get worse. Healing from emotional abuse takes time. Taking care of yourself, reaching out khổng lồ your supportive loved ones, và talking lớn a therapist can help.

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Potential Complications

Sometimes attempts to lớn giảm giá khuyến mãi with or reduce emotional abuse can backfire và actually make the abuse worse. Some tactics that are not effective ways of dealing with abuse include:

If you or a loved one are a victyên ổn of domestic violence, tương tác the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential assistance from trained advocates.